Utah Democrats Begin Super Awkward Courtship of...
This. telestialstate: Utah Democrats have recognized the inevitable - that they must begin appealing to the broader Mormon base in Utah or risk going extinct. Like the lung fish, struggling to breathe on the swampy shores of the cradle of life inexplicably zapped into existence 4,000 years ago (Thanks Jesus!), the Utah Democratic chairman Jim Dabakis has begun reaching out to more moderate...
“Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining” said Judge Judy to the male prostitute, as he picked up his money from the dresser.
My partner & I registered our partnership this afternoon. So if your traditional marriage feels slightly weaker today: it’s probably our fault.
A PLANT LEAF fell from my body while taking a shower this morning. So if you’ll excuse me, I need to spend the next 12 hours on WebMD.
I’ve been awake since 4:30 am. This is good practice for when God puts a baby in my tummy someday.
People Who Love Their Library
I’d like to say something very personal and sincere. I promise it won’t happen again. Somebody jumped from the roof of the library this morning. It was the 4th (or perhaps the 5th?) suicide since 2005. In the past few years, the staff of the Salt Lake City Public Library have dealt with suicides, death threats, belligerent drunk people, a string of break-ins, a handful of administration scandals,...
Beto's Mexican Food: "Hi, this is Beto's, how can I help you?"
Insomnia: "It's me again. Sorry for calling so late."
Beto's Mexican Food: "Come home, friend. Come home."
Rejection Generator for Writers →
I just committed suicide, like, a bunch of times.
Three-day old Easter coconut cake with jelly beans: Make love to me.
Facebook bought Instagram?! Screw them… they’re going to ruin my...– starving children in Sudan
E.T. is coming down from space and playing with our DNA … [5 minutes...– a homeless man on the bus